Depression

Mental Health – Depression.

By Bella P.

It’s not wrong.

Being sad, feeling anxious. Having egotistic thoughts, make incorrect choices. That’s not wrong, that’s… human.

And even if society and people complain about it, we cannot do differently. And why is that? It’s because we’re humans, we have feelings, we cannot throw them away as rubbish and pretend that everything is alright.

We cannot break ourselves down, as fragile, thin glass, that suddenly falls and crashes on the ground, destroying itself in tiny pieces that will be taken away by the autumnal wind.

Human feelings don’t work like that. We’re sad, we get hurt, we cry and despair in anguish, sobbing during the silent and dark nights, covering our mouths in the vain attempt of not making any noises…

That’s exactly how depression works. Empty and lacerated souls, that vainly attempt to reach the light in the darkness of the dreadful night, that sadly fail, and fall apart. They painfully shatter on the ground, disappearing, as the raindrops would do.

And crying doesn’t help anymore – all the tears have been used.

And sleeping doesn’t help anymore, if it is the soul… that is tired.

And when someone reaches the point when he can actually understand the difference between existing and living, that’s when everything changes.

And the difference between those two words, are feelings.

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Sometimes dreams come true just if you try to do something to achieve them. That’s exactly what this evening I am attempting: make my dream become reality.

Short and first steps are always underestimated. But this time I will give faith towards the power inside me, that is suggesting to believe into myself: soon I will be able to make another step forward towards my future. I have to trust myself and not underestimate the ‘power of changing’.

This is why today I decided to make something different than usual. I will not hide myself anymore in the dark shadows made by my futile and naive fears, that hide all the potential I might have, that prevents me from achieving my ultimate goal.

And by writing these words that I will soon share, hoping every new day, I would be happy to distribute my thoughts that I cannot express. By doing this, I hope I inspire the audience to take charge and make new, different choices to demonstrate that is worth risking and is worth doing and try new things out, because they might actually help and completely change somebody’s life, as I hope will happen to me.

Maybe what I am choosing is a hard path that will not be accepted by everyone; while others will enjoy watching and maybe laughing of me, losing the sight of their paths, I will look forward to make my dream come true.

Will this be the start of a new adventure, or another failed attempt of trying to change something? Who can tell? Not me, for sure. But I can present myself, before I go… Nice to meet you all.

My name is Bella P.